I am not thinking about food right now. Maybe a vegan hot dog, but not really even that.

wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

I am taking Astronomy and Cosmologies this term and I really really really really love it but every time I am in class I think AHHHHH I NEED TO NOT BE IN CLASS. But I only have class twice a week so it shouldn't be a problem. But it somehow is. Even though I love it. I get antsy and hyperventilate and overheat and so I don't pay attention and I then I leave too soon. It might be this new thing that I am trying, Sober and Awake in Class 2010. Since there are no morning classes I am awake and since I'm respectable I am being more respectable. And it would be working if I had any ability to pay attention. But I'm so into everything that we are doing. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

It was free burrito and coffee day. Need I say more.

Today I did a lot of reflecting on making friends. I've never made friends before this year. Other people make friends and then I hang out with the old friends and the new people. And then it just sort of one day makes us into friends. But this year I tried a new thing called Making Friends. I didn't do it on purpose at first but then I made a friend on purpose and now we're friends. He is the first friend I ever made on purpose and I don't care for it. It weirds me out now that we're friends. Creepy. And then other people made friends with me. Also very creepy. Like today friends were asking me to hang out and it was as though I had friends. It is just not something that I quite understand. Maybe other people have been doing this all along and I am just late to the game. Very possible.

Oh, but in my class we are doing research projects. And I am partners with Bej and we are doing a project on exoplanets. I'm so excited. So so so excited. Yes.

I am dislodged from time today. No time has ever been the right time so far today. It might have something to do with it being free coffee day but I don't think so. I love free coffee day. It happens every once in a while and all I do is coffee coffee coffee all day. No one notices.

update update update wah wah wah

I have also been thinking about how this is the most I've lived in one place without itching to leave. But I've also been thinking lately about how I am itching to leave. I can't imagine doing this again next year. It seems as though it would be far too monotonous. I don't think it would be because things change pretty quick around these parts but just thinking about having classes in the same buildings and walking the same paths to places makes me antsy. I don't like new places but I don't like old places. I like comfortable but from a distance places. Familiar but not intimate places.

oogum boogum oogum boogum

I find out whether I got my job out here for this summer very shortly. If I do get it then it will be quite the summer I think. I really really really want Mel to live with me on the island and have a great time, but her parents are pretty much telling her that she can't stray too far from them even though it seems that she wants to stay out here too. But thats kind of a nice problem to have, you know? (I have also been thinking a lot about nice problems to have. I started realizing all the nice problems people have and then I started realizing all the nice problems I have. Like feeling too comfortable in a place- that's a nice problem to have. Or not being able to decide what to eat for dinner- that's a nice problem to have.) But if I don't get the job then I don't know what I will do. I am looking into working the ranch life in Colorado or Montana or some equally nonexistent state. That would be strange.

In other news, I got married a few weeks ago. His name is Riff Raff. He is the love of my life. He is the Most Popular Guy in the ALLL the World. And I am the Most Beautiful Girl in ALLLLLL the World. We didn't have those titles when we got married, our marriage is based purely on love. We got married at the Mango House, had our first dance and everything. We renewed our vows a few days later on facebook. We had our honeymoon last Thursday at Glitter Mansion. We had our first fight last Friday morning at Glitter Mansion. He's a dream boat.

Thank you and goodnight.

I almost pierced my own ears last night.

I was asking Ni for a needle, ice, and an apple. I was probably about a quarter way through my drink.

Technology was not my friend last night. I always think it will be my friend, it never is. The only coherent thought I could produce was either I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU or FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

Drink more 2010 was definitely put to use this weekend. I think maybe it should be put to rest. I should probably take a preemptive advil.

Ack ack ack ack ack ack ack.

I think I need another week off.

I really just want a house where I can just walk in and then take a nap in that isn't this apartment. I will bring a giant bowl of noodles and then give away all my noodles and then nap and then wake up and then nap again. That is what I want.

This is not what I want.

Breakfast Burrito

Sleeping is for pussys. Why sleep when you can just stay up all night?

Avocado

The neighbors just woke up. Their window looks into my window. Their light turned on.

Maybe I should wake up now. TIME TO GREET THE DAY.

Fish Sandwich

Its 6 am. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

THE HOLIDAYS: a haiku series

Christmas Eve dinner,

a family tradition,

never lasts too long.

Salad and crab cakes,

barszcz, fish and rice for dinner.

Ten minutes and gone.

Last at the table,

I finish my meal in peace,

the wine was left out.

Four in the morning.

Still drunk, a bit hungover,

writing haikus.

Persimmons

Oh my, the end of 2009 already. The last couple weeks of school just went by so quickly and now its already a week into winter break and pretty soon winter quarter will start back up again. Outrageous.

Break has been so much more pleasant that expected. Despite a few rocky days there when I had no friends, everything has been just great. I've come to a new understanding about my family, we had a (partial, KHADIJAH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN) reunion with friends, I've watched some nice movies, I got myself a whole stack of books that I need to read and started on it, I've been chatting with people from school, I've been making some money at work, and I'm a Phone Person now. I make calls and I receive them and then talk to people. Radical.

So today, I only ate the BEST food. For breakfast I had a nice warm cup of Earl Grey tea with a bowl of bigos with a slice of polish bread and a few grapes on the side. Then for lunch I cooked myself up some garlic, onion, broccoli, eggplant, tomato and salmon with some mozzarella cheese over some spaghetti. SO GOOD. And then for dinner I had a nice spinach salad with walnuts and apple and some pierogi. I swear, I could not have been happier with my food choices today. AND THEN tomorrow I get crab cakes. How great.

Saturday me and K decided is knit/crochet party since she needs to learn how to knit and I need to learn how to crochet. And then Sunday is noodle nap time at M's. And then next week I get to work some more and J and Jo will be there! How nice! And then its New Years! And then M's birthday! And then I'm back to school already. Crazy.

cheesy bread, cheesy bagel, pear

Me, A and Mel are sitting here at the corner of 41st and greenwood where Ru should be picking us up in a few hours but we are just sitting outside on the corner until then. That wasn't the original plan but that is the plan now. Then we will be off to Av's house. But until then I found some free internet and I'm blasting Johnny Cash and singing and scaring the people who are driving by as I scream for Kitty and Ru. A is knitting next to me. Mel is listening to her music and pretending like she don't know us. I have been looking in people's windows and mail boxes to try to figure out which one is Ru's house. But he's in class so it doesn't matter too much anyway. Only two more hours!

collard greens, corn, grits, and sharp cheddar

Man oh man. What a great week. Where should I begin. The end of last week was a little shaky in terms of being a nice week but then Friday night was the Queens of Pop party which I was almost not going to participate in but good thing I did because it just turned everything around, kind of. I was Madonna. After dancing around here for a bit we all (Ke, Mel, Ni, Ad) went to the Llama House for a little socializing. WHAT a night it was there. I was just hanging out with Ad, minding my own business when all of a sudden she is just handing out some Shmacstasy. Who was I to say no! So I was just rolling the whole night and man oh man was I a social butterfly. I was ALL about people. People I didn't know that is. I kept yelling at Ke and Mel to get the fuck away from me... oops! My official review is its great. I recommend it to all.

I went to the house in a sweater, jeans and with a backpack. I left in just a corset and jeans. No backpack. No sweater. I just kept thinking how cold I was. I didn't even think there could be a solution to the problem. When I got back to the apartment I was so exhausted from just gettin it for hours upon hours that I immediately passed out on the couch. Ke got some guys to carry me to my room, I didn't wake up even when being carried. Girl was a little wiped out.

Saturday was great- I don't think I was on my feet for more than 5 minutes the entire day. Ke and I brought Av's mattress out into the living room for movie night and we made bean dip and A made naan. Ke and I kept bursting out laughing about how great the whole situation was.

Sunday I had to go back to the Llama House to get my stuff. Cell phone stolen. Luckily I have a free replacement on the way so no harm, no foul.

I had THE most productive week. I got all my homework done really thoroughly and really fast for the whole week on Monday so I had so much time to get all the things done that I wanted to get done! It was great! Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday was full of cleaning the whole house, eating delicious food, catching up on my physics studies, reading up on world events, going to the library downtown, taking walks, reading books. SO great! Getting things done!

Yesterday was another good day. It was a very long day of class and I did not get much sleep the night before for some reason. Oh! I almost forgot that Wednesday night there was a power outage and we all went for a walk then everyone went back and I continued on my walk and sang and danced all around campus in the storm and it was JUST what I needed. Anyway, yesterday I was just so tired so I was planning on having an early night or something. Mel, A and I went to see Av at open mic night. A great time. I took a nice long walk afterwards and when I finally got back home everyone was gone. WHERE DID THEY GO. Mel and La went on a peter run and Av went to Wine Night (A was working on her essay) I found out when they got back. So much for my early night. I held out a lot longer than I thought I would but who was I to say no! Great night.

Lately I've been wanting to sleep on the couch so that is where I go to bed but then I always wake up in my own bed in the morning with no memory of how I got there. Ack! I traded my bed for the star wars pillow this morning. I think it will be completely worth it.

I'm so excited for the upcoming weeks! Tonight is a party at Ad's. I love that house and I love that girl! She hasn't had a gathering in much too long. She has the nicest porch with this great chair that I just love to sit in all night long. People are always trying to get me to go somewhere with them but shit! I just want to sit in my chair. Then Sat-Tues will be some quiet relaxing time at home. Only Mel and A will be here and so it will be a great time to plan out my life and recuperate from this illness that I am trying to fight away before Wednesday. When we (Mel, A and I) are all going to Av's house! I'm so excited! I went to the San Juans a couple of years ago when I did my backpacking stuff in Washington and its just literally the best place and there will just be so much good food there. I always dread Thanksgiving and all it entails but I am SO excited for this Thanksgiving. I am probably more excited that I am actually excited for the holiday than I am excited for the holiday itself. We are staying there until Sunday. I hope I can drive Av's car. I miss driving.

After break week there are about two weeks left of fall quarter. I can't believe it. Insane. Things to look forward to: wrapping up classwork, the last attempt at Shmaquila Wednesday of 2009, registering for my physics class, hopefully getting work study, right before break craziness, friends from LC coming up to visit(!!), maybe I'll go down to Portland and get a ride back up with them, that might be nice.

This has been such a long post. But I think that everything is just going so nicely. On the couch with my leopard print blanket, star wars pillow, Christmas lights on, World War II documentary in the background, spoonful of peanut butter. I think I have finally learned how to live.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhgghhhhhh

Worst weekend alone ever.

Ugh.

BFFL

UGHHHHHHHHH CLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS it can't beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Halloween. It was just a lovely night. I hate halloween so it might have started off a bit rocky.

I should go get dressed. Class in a couple minutes. Stay tuned.

*********I'M BACK************************

I'm dressed. I'm in class. It's too early. I'm still a little petered (by a little I mean I'm pretty solid). MOVIE TODAY! MOVIE TODAY! MOVIE TODAY! Just found out we are watching a movie today. Then we have a slide show. This day might shape up.

Anyway. Halloween. It was a night. Not too much. Not too little. Went to a couple of get togethers. A lovely time for all.

I am in the back row. And by that I mean there is a back row. Then I dragged a table behind it. Now I am just in the corner by myself. Now there is some guy next to me. Pay attention to teacher. But now I don't look quite as crazy. Maybe.

I can read the board if I look at it for a few minutes first.

Salmon. Salmon. Salmon. Salmon field trip in one week. They like salmon here. I like eating salmon. We don't do it too often. I think I will go downtown today.

+1 sibling today. Celebration.

Mel and I went to Ad's last night. A good time had by all. Didn't have to walk home! Got a ride! Perfect! Me and Ni are now best friends. I'm pretty excited. If anything comes out of what we talked about last night the next couple weeks will be a COUPLE OF WEEKS. I'm not sure if anything will come out of it but. One can dream.

After we got back me and Mel and Av and Ja and Er talked for a while. Ja thought I was mocking her. I wasn't! I was interested in her thoughts! Then me and Ja and Er went to some apartment. Fun.

Naked Dance Party Lunch Break. For sure.

I'm paying so much attention. You don't even know.

Oh my god. I have to be here until 12. Oh lord. I still have more than two hours. OH NOOOOO. And then my day isn't even close to done. But it will be NDPLB.

We're going up to Tacoma this weekend. Saturday. I half really want to go, I half just really want to stay behind and have the place to myself. Me time. I can't decide what I should do. I just want to ultrasound sheep on Saturday and then take a nap and then hang out. But maybe I want to go. Who knows.

Popular but ugly

What a week! The ups! The downs!

I did not enjoy this week too much. It might have been because I slept the whole time but I just couldn't get my act together to ever go to class or sheep club. Although I only missed class on Monday I was just not in class ever.

I was so glad when Thursday rolled around and my final thing to do for the week was go to sign language and what a class! We have our midterm on Tuesday and so we just got in study groups and like quizzed each other on signs and my group just had the biggest mental breakdown. I think our brain just melted and then we were oozing out of our seats and laughing too much. A nice ending to the week.

Thursday night I had a quiet night in and watched Donnie Darko. I think that was Thursday but I can't be sure. A lovely movie.

Friday I had the nicest day. In the afternoon Ke and I went downtown and at first meandered about and we went into this like thrift shop and I just wanted it all. We found the nicest matching Mexican dresses that would have been perfect for Shmequila Wednesdays but they were made for babies. Then we found this guy who was wearing this black robe thing and singing nicely to the plants and so we listened to him for a while but then he walked into the bushes and started to pee. We gave him some privacy. I stole some basil from a basil plant.

Then on Friday night Mel and I went to Ad's house and had the loveliest time. The whole crowd was there and this Wednesday afternoon is Naked Mud Wrestling Wednesday and its going to be good. Me vs. Ad vs. Je. Fight till the death.

xoxo

gossip girl

Harold and Maude

I should update this at some point. Maybe when I am not trying to write an essay. But that is probably the only reason I am writing here anyway.

This apartment is a madhouse. You need to all come visit. You would fit right in.

Everything is going well. It's just so pleasant.

So many parties so much of the time. Always wonderful. Just running all over town causing trouble. Just what needs to happen. Shmequila Wednesday this Wednesday. Goal is to make it past 10 pm. Cross your fingers.

Catch you on the flip side.

this is my thought process

exactly.

THE SADDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD IS THAT I WASN'T ALIVE DURING ELVIS' PRIME.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

catz.

mommie

i wish
i knew where mommie waz
there is mouse outside i want to eat
if only ther waz a mommie to help me catch
then eat itbut i dont wants to
do the catching

MOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

quail

mmmmm quail
like to eat lots of bird
chicken, goats, beef,
poultry and foul
all thebird
mmmmmmmmmmm
yarn yarn birdy bird beef
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

MERM

EHHHHHHHHH NEZXT SEMESTER WHATTTTTTTTTTTT?????