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1 carved pumpkin
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check!

MY RESPONSE

Dear Sir or Madame,
I have taken your love as ransom. Here are my demands:
1. freshly baked non-vegan brownies
2. a male flannel shirt
3. plain unsalted rice cakes
4. a carved pumpkin
5. your name
You have two weeks to comply. I will be eagerly waiting.
xoxo,
Blonde Beauty

STALKER

Dear Blonde Beauty,
I've seen you around campus; you stay late in the Bon every night. I've been far too nervous to approach you, for your beauty intimidates me. Hair as striking as yours looks lovely at any length. Even your quirky style and swan-like grace captivate me. I only wish you could see me as I see you.
I'll understand if you do not respond, but I had to take the chance.
-MSC 2229

SO THAT IS THE MESSAGE I GET IN MY MAIL BOX YESTERDAY MORNING.
so i clearly thought it was a huge joke because that is a VERY weird letter but then through thorough investigation its this friends of a Br's RA and she says that he is a legit person but CLEARLY he's not but like now I have to like RESPOND to the letter and I do not know what to DOOOOOOOO so he CLEEEEARLY stalks me and it makes me verrrrrrrry uncomfortable.

EDIT: WHAT DO I RESPOND??????

I HAVE

A CREEPY STALKER WHO IS IN LOVE WITH ME AND IT MAKES ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. more to come when i have time.

xoxo,
gossip girl

GFYABFCASBHDV

YOU WOULD BE SO JEALOUS OF WHAT I UJST DID BECUASE IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEEP SOUTH AND THERE WAS A GIANT OLD WATER PIPE AND THERE WAS THIS LIKE RUSTY OLD METAL BRIDGE THING AND IT WAS THE BEST THING